Reminiscing.....

People here I work with were talking about crappy vacations they had gone on in their lives and it reminded me of 2 of my vacations with my ex-husband. His mother announces that she's taking the whole family to Destin, Florida. It's exMIL, exFIL, BIL and his wife, me and my ex. I'm all excited. Of course, as you know, men NEVER get all the details. He "yeah, yeah's" me on everything I ask and I really should have talked to his mother. We had a condo. First off, this condo was across the street from the beach. I mean ya had to climb over rocks and stuff. Who goes to the beach and doesn't stay on the beach? Next problem. She rents a ONE bedroom condo for 6 people!! Her rational? One bedroom, pull out sofa in tiny living room and BUNK BEDS in the hallway. I politely told her I hadn't slept on bunk beds since 1974 and wasn't about to start now. I left, went down to the desk and rented our own condo in the same complex. I thought, this will be noooo problem, I'll stay out on the beach all day, we'll only see them at night really. It. rained. every. day. I was so close to slitting my wrists on day two. His dad can go in the bathroom and not come back for HOURS. He also has to control the tv. So what did we end up watching? Some movie on the Disney Channel about some skater punk. Over, and over and over again. I know I had to have seen it 6 times that week. Literally, the man's feet never touched the sand while we were there. I thought, I'll at least get some good food on this trip! The ex FIL would only go to steakhouses!! Who goes to the beach and eats a steak?? I was jonesing for some crab in the worst way! The BIL's wife is really strange. She's a veternarian and one of the first conversations I had with her is how you can kill someone with insulin and an autopsy wouldn't show it. Tell you anything about what I'm dealing with here? I told my ex that if he ever thought I was going on a vacation with his family again, he was crazy. No way, no how!

About a year before that we went to visit same BIL and his wife in NC right around New Year's. They live out in the boonies. No Wally World, now Mickey D's, no nothing. I'm not a difficult house guest, I can fend for myself. Good thing, they worked almost 24/7 the whole time we were there! Since she's a vet, she has 5 cats. Ex is Allergy Boy. Two sesame seeds away from living in a plastic bubble. I ask her if she's boarding the cats at work or if not we'll stay at a hotel. Not a problem she's going to take the cats to work with her. We get there and all 5 cats are lined up to greet us! She didn't take them anywhere and the whole house smelled like a big 'ol litter box. So I had to deal with ex's lungs about to shut down at every turn. So then it gets to be about 8pm and no one's making a move to so much as call a pizza! Ex rummages around and makes pancakes for dinner. They have almost no food in the house! Get up the next morning. No food and a coffee pot that could seriously blow up NASA. Unless you count a bottle of ketchup, packets of soy sauce and thousand island dressing. Remember, we're out in the sticks, closest food is 45 min away and I don't know my way around. I think we got food on day 3. Also, they kept talking about all these great restaurants to go to and how they have professional hockey,etc. Did we actually GO to any of these places? I think not. Oh, and also because they live in the sticks, sucky cable too. So not only are you stuck out in the sticks with no food, there's also no good television to watch! Another good benefit of that divorce...don't have to deal with that circus act anymore!